Lillypup, I feel like I'm dying of a fatal illness daily and I'm just sitting around waiting to die so I can relate and I'm sorry. I'm depressed and it sounds like you are too. That doesn't sound like the actions of a mentally well person. If you aren't being kept down physically, you sure are emotionally by the sounds of it and it sounds like you are overwhelmed too. When unstable I become overwhelmed very easily and you've had lots of overwhelming to anybody situations recently. Please be kind to yourself, you are dealing with so much. (((Hugs)))