this am was interesting to say the least ... pdoc increased lamictal and added geodon last visit almost three weeks ago ... everything was fine except my sucky sleep ... so what else is new ... lol ... actually asked for the geodon as it helped me sleep in the past ...

well I walked into a customer with a very deep computer problem this morning first thing ... ( on the way there it seemed as if I was in slow motion with cars zooming around and past me ... ) ... I had to beg off (which I never do) ... I could not understand what I was to do ... it was very embarissing (I am sure they thought I was hung over) ...

I had called my pdoc yesterday that my higher (brain) functions seemed to be impaired ... he returned call this morning and lowered the lamictal dose back to where it was ... banned me from any xanex ... but refused to lower or stop the geodon ... it was just started on the 12th ... and the others including my buspar have never caused any issues like this ...

why I am writing this .... I have promised to be complient .... and until this was very content with how my meds and life was going ... but I have noticed a "slight" hint of depression returning ... my legs doing the samba at the dinner table ... been losing short term memory at a terrifing rate ... having daytime dreams of events from 30 years ago ... the lamictal, buspar and xanex I have been on for months with no issue ... the only change was 200 to 300 lamictal and 40 geodon ... both slight ... but I feel the geodon is the med causing this ... he had me on it for 3 years and I had to quit myself to get him to accept it ... I asked to go back on it because since stopping my sleep has suffered ... but the last three days have been from hell ... headache to die from ... 2 to 3 hour sleep ... one day none ... the lack of sleep may explain it all ... but it was never this bad before the geodon ...

I want to be complient ... but he will never let me stop geodon no matter what I say ... trust me I tried for 3 years ... I want to go off it .... your opinion ... I know my choice ... but you guys been there ... help me ... please ... the Tigger trying hard to be complient ...