I am so sorry Qwerty Cat my dad passed away in 2014 we were very close I wish I could say it will get easier and maybe it will for me it has not. I also get the mud slinging within the family. To me funerals bring out the worst in people and it should not be like that.

I hope you have someone to talk to and if not this is a good place to vent and get your frustrations out on it has worked wonders for me. In fact I joined this forum when I lost my dad because I needed the support.

It's ok to cry, it's ok to be mad that he is gone and it's ok to talk to him.

You just need to remember to take care of you and we are here for you.

Good luck

Sending hugs and positive vibes