I went into the office today. I cleaned out my desk and took down all of the pictures. It ended up being way more than I thought it would be, but it's over and final. I turned in my badge and left the keys. Now I just sit and wait for what's next.
I can't tell if the crazy exhaustion I experienced today was from the long trip into the city, an interrupted sleep cycle, or a side effect from the risperdal. I've just been laying either on my couch or in my bed all day for the past couple of weeks so I havent noticed if I've been really exhausted (although, now that I think about it I haven't had energy to do anything and figured that was the depression). It was also embarrassing that I kept loosing my place in the conversations with my sister today (she and my nephew came with me).
My best friend has been trying to call me every since I told her my plan. I don't like her hanging the doom and gloom over my head. This was my choice and I'm prepared for what chaos may ensue. But I feel like I made the right choice for me at this point in time. My family is supportive. Things will be rough and money will be tight for a while, but it is what it is. I feel too flat sometimes to even be scared. I asked my grandma to look over me and help me through this. I checked the mail today and I have a refund from Wells Fargo from my refinance of my home from 2015! She's looking down on me, and that's what I'm holding on to. Anybody that is giving negative vibes can keep moving.