Have you ever read a post and felt..... that is excactly how I'm feeling or used to feel? In the last few days it seems like every time I decide to go through some I find at least one in every 10 or so posts that describe the way I feel now or used to, so perfectly that its unreal. Some actually resemble a few of my diary entries; same words even.

Is it just me? Or something inside making the words jump out, subtly prompting me to seek help, to maybe start seeing a therapist again?

Because I'm still scared and even though I empathise (albeit silently and to myself mostly)... I'm scared to reply, to say that I understand,... I can't help but think... even though I know that if it was me I would welcome it, be grateful to each person who replies...

I'm too scared to reach out.... to step out of the house, even if it is to see a doctor when i'm ill or to see my therapist when I'm too down. That's how I ended up in a hospital gone May after procrastinating for over an year about the pain I felt on the rare ocassions that I had to go outside and at a snail pace until I could'nt get around the house itself without being in a constant state of pain. I was advised to go for walks and get some exercise, even had to go for physiotherapy for about a month... but i balked out of it after one week; four before I stopped going out for walks. Here I am the same old and I just can't bring myself to care at all.
I'm just....... living in an almost constant state of apathy with ocassional bursts of emotion and I hate it.

I'm sorry I got a little off topic. Anyway I was wondering if many of you feel the same sense of dejavu so to speak...