I agree with questioning who starts the arguments when it comes to you and your husband seems odd. However, maybe this therapist is trying to see which parent seems to stress him the most. But if that's what the therapist is wondering, then she should just be direct and ask it and not beat around the bush.

That being said, if he is struggling with a pier or friend and wants to talk about that, then that is what the therapist should focus on instead of what you and your husband are doing.

A child cannot do anything about his parent's relationship issues (that's what the parents need to figure out), and at this point he needs to focus on his own relationship issues and perhaps learn how to be more assertive and go over where his challenged areas are with this T.