Is it a bad impression? I do say thank you, I appreciate the help, etc, when I turn them down, but is it bad?

I am not in the position to receive therapy. First, money and parents, and second, there's a whole lot of trust issues. I was forced into real therapy (not just school counselor) in high school by my school. There was a lot of drama from my parents about this. Because of this, I refused to talk and I still have not been broken by any therapists. It's too easy to fool them, and if I told the truth, (and I did try once) I don't think they'll understand me correctly.

I feel like I'm letting someone **** with my brain, and that spells trouble for me. I need to maintain my agency over my mind.

I am just trying to understand: If I were in exposure therapy, would that entail me being in a lot of situations where I need to ask for help?

If there is a therapist that will treat me even if I don't exhibit the standard dependence on them, I'll go for it. This year I met with a counselor once a week for half a year and we got no where. She started getting angry at me.

So I know therapy will never help me. I have to help myself. Maybe it's that I can't rely on people. I don't know.