*sigh*

Therein lies another issue. I don't drive. Why? Because when I was trying for my license, it became apparent that I wasn't able to perceive everything that went on around me and the car. I can't focus on both driving (aka being aware of the car and what's around it) as well as remembering where I'm going. It all got rather confusing.

At least, that's what my mother always tells me when I ask about trying for my license again. I mean, it's not like I haven't tried at the DMV. I tried 3 times, and failed each of those three times. Running stop signs, driving carelessly into oncoming traffic, and parking. These were what the officer administering my test said I needed work on.

It's been years since then, about a decade in fact, but my mother still refuses to help me. She says and I quote "I can't in good consciousness take you to get a license and be responsible for you or anyone else getting hurt." That's her bottom line. I tried many times but always get this answer from her. Forget asking my father. He'd just yell at me all the while I'm driving and make me more nervous that I already am to the point of making major mistakes and maybe damaging the car (or worse). I have no one else to turn to besides my parents.

I used to go to therapy, and she drove me there, as did my kid brother. However, one day after a long restless night (and perhaps a bit too much caffeine consumption via diet coke) I was still in bed come 1:30 in the afternoon, where my mother found me when she came home from work to pick me up. She was so irate at the sight, that she had taken such "precious" time off of work only to come home to this situation, that she would never take me to therapy again.

I would take a Lyft (Uber is just too creepy now), but often times I'm strapped for cash. I had to not only pay for the Lyft, but cover the copay for the therapist's services. This adds up on a weekly basis. It doesn't help that I both don't have much in the way of income, AND what little I do have, I spend as a way to make myself feel better. I guess that's what you'd call an impulse control issue. I can't help it. Spending money helps me feel better when I'm super depressed. It's one the few things that does. It's a poor coping mechanism, I know. I guess I need better coping mechanisms.

Then there is the age old question about public transit. Well, considering the nearest bus stop is a good 45 minute walk from my house, and that I hadn't a clue how close the bus stops to my therapist's office were, I wasn't able to use that.

I honestly don't think I qualify for special assistance. The kind that drives you to doctors appointments. Besides, I don't think therapy appointments are exactly what they have in mind. I'm pretty sure that despite my having Medicaid and Medicare, that I'm too healthy otherwise for such assistance. I mean, I looked up all the various Public Transit assistance programs and none seem applicable to my particular situation.