Nothing makes me feel worse than being in the middle of a situation and being to afraid to speak what I am thinking. It can even haunt you the rest of your life. You are right. It is because we are fearful of harm (if we don't go along but later wonder what they were really thinking) or just think no one could accept our true selves. When we are depressed, we are afraid to take chances.

If we speak our deepest feelings and our spouse does not listen or tells us to stop talking (most of the time--we all have bad days) -- they are making us more depressed. Since you are unlikely to divorce--don't give up--try to talk to her. Sometimes saying what is on my mind gives me panic attacks but once uncomfortable things are said you might feel closer to your wife. She cannot tell you how to feel about anything--past, present or future. We all have a different take on life and that is what makes us unique. Sometimes we can't speak openly about all our POVs in every situation but if our spouse has hurt us in some way, we need to talk about it (though I know it's hard).