Hi Heyitseli

I can imagine that that realisation must have been really traumatic for you, maybe wanting to "fit in" or feeling that you "fit in" then having someone point out something "wrong" with you...........and on your face which everyone sees/knew you for........and then realising/having it hit you like a ton of bricks that something was "very wrong"............
And it can be so easy to compare yourself to others...........the way you "should look"..........

And I know you'd change it if you could but with that not being possible I'm just wondering if you could maybe buy into the way I see appearances, just a little........
I don't see "deformed", who on earth has the right to define "perfect", and why should perfect be x, y and z..........everyone is different..........there may be "conventional" ideas of beauty...........but to me individuality is much more important than that.........and "conventional" should not define a person's value.........if someone is so shallow as to see/judge you negatively based on your appearance, then that someone is someone you shouldn't want to know..........you are so much more than your appearance, whether that is "conventional" or not...........and yes, it may sound cliche, but it's heartfelt, I do go along with "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"..........sometime just the look in someone's eyes, the particular way they smile if they are not "conventionally" beautiful can still make them look far more beautiful than someone "conventionally" beautiful who doesn't have that........it can come from within............and that's about who you are............so try not to compare yourself to others, believe me, I'm sure there's every chance that you are a much better person than some of those you might compare your appearance negatively too..........I'm sure some of those people aren't even worthy to know you...........

So.........I'm absolutely not dismissing the way you're feeling, but just hoping that you can see "appearance" a little more through my eyes...........and if you want to talk more.........

Alison