I had a therapy experience when I was younger that was not successful. I guess it helped to talk about some stuff but I left with all my major issues unaddressed and in retrospect some aspects of that now seem harmful to me.

I had a marriage counseling experience that was not successful. I never fully trusted the therapist and, when we hit an impasse, she could not work through it with me. Frankly, she seemed scared of me.

BUT--I have had a very successful experience with the individual therapist I have now. Part of it has been going on medication for the first time, which is life-changing. But part of it is how the therapist is. He's got decades of experience and is unflappable without being cold. I feel like he really "gets" me. I have discussed lots of relationship/family issues and have put in place new boundaries and had discussions with people that have been tremendously helpful. Intense feelings of anger and depression that used to come and last for a long time now come more rarely and do not last as long. I have started doing more creative work and have started socializing more with others. I make more time for myself and take better care of myself. I think I take more emotional risks with other people now. But it's been a slow process--3+ years--and it's a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. I view it as a success. It's not like my life is completely without troubles now, but things seem way better all around.

I'm sorry you've had such troubles finding someone good. I do think some of it is just calling up as many people as possible and checking them out in an initial appointment. Before I went to my current therapist, I checked out one other person and I did not feel comfortable with her at all. Based on my experience, I think good therapy can be wonderful but subpar therapy can be a disappointing mess. And I don't think it's the client that's the issue. But rather the therapist and the client's mix together.