Quote:
Originally Posted by emptynightmare
...It makes me feel like I'm being a burden. I also do not know how to respond, so sometimes it takes me a whole day to email back. I don't want to be the employee who doesn't communicate well, but it really flummoxes me about how "nice" they are being to me so far.
...I feel the way I felt growing up. Completely alone. Me against the world. I'm in survival mode. It feels right. I don't want to rely on people. I don't want to owe anyone anything.
Is it wrong to immediately be on my guard around these new people? Is this what people refer to as trust issues? Control issues?
Is it wrong to simply want to receive my key from the landlord, pay the rent, and not have to socialize? I don't trust my boss. I feel like this is a test.
I'm terrified of these mini relationships already.
Maybe this is why I can't date. Ha!
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I empathize with you, emptynightmare. Connecting with these strangers in a familiar type way must feel like a threat, or an invitation to more familiarity than you're ready for, or open to. Having boundaries is your right. You can have boundaries and at the same time to not be "on guard." The landlord and boss may be perfectly nice people who just would think it's rude not to offer. They must know/assume you won't have a car, etc.
maybe "do" what makes you feel safest, and "think" the best of others intentions, unless shown otherwise.