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As a kid, I struggled heavily with math. My father, who had majored in math in college, had taken it upon himself to try and tutor me and help improve my grades. I recall that I was getting B's in that subject in grade school and my dad wanted to improve upon that. Well, turns out that he lacks the patience and understanding to be an effective teacher. He never could grasp the concept that there are people who struggle with even the most basic parts of math. In his mind, that should be second nature to anyone.
Oh, the yelling and crying that would go on. He'd get frustrated and yell "WHAT PART DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!" at me, and I would sob and yell back to him "I DON'T KNOW!!!" It would go on like this until either he would get to the point where he couldn't deal with it anymore and walk away, or my mom would intervene and try to help somehow.
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This is bad to do with someone who is trying to learn. Teaching young children is a challenge in that while they are trying to learn their brains are still developing. You were already getting B's in math and that's really good. What your parents should have done is praise you for what you did achieve. This whole teaching philosophy of grading and focusing on what one gets wrong is "bad" for the psyche. It creates a neurological pathway of focusing too much on the negative and that creates "stress" and low self esteem.
If you read enough of the threads on this site, you can begin to hear a humming of "I am failing, what's wrong with me". One of the things we are all born with is navigational skills. It's to DISCOVER, humanity is all about discovery.
When I see your avatar of all those colored pencils, and think about how when you pick up a colored pencil and draw something, you are in fact discovering. Every time you read a book, you are navigating and exploring with your mind to find the story or messages with that book. Every time you do that, navigate and explore, you always walk away "with" something. SO, if you had a math book and sat in class and learned math and got a B? Look how much you walked away with. Well, if someone doesn't walk away with ALL of what's there, SO WHAT.
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Oh, the yelling and crying that would go on. He'd get frustrated and yell "WHAT PART DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!" at me, and I would sob and yell back to him "I DON'T KNOW!!!" It would go on like this until either he would get to the point where he couldn't deal with it anymore and walk away, or my mom would intervene and try to help somehow.
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And when this happens, what does the child walk away with? Stress about LEARNING. What do human beings do when that happens? They start navigating to avoid that STRESS. It's bad to educate children to learn how to navigate to "avoid" when it comes to learning and learning how to walk away with "something". These somethings can add up, especially when a child learns and feels rewarded for what they got correct and what problems they did figure out.
My daughter has a learning disability, she has dyslexia. It takes her longer to read and figure out letters and sounds that make up these different words. I read to her every night since she could focus on the pages and picture in a book. She got so she loved spending time on my lap and listening to me read to her and looking at the pictures. Her favorite story from age 1 was a little book called "Panda Bear's Paintbox". I would read other books, but, always had to finish with reading that little book. So, this is about a little panda bear that gets a paint box for his birthday and he mixes colors with those paints and he paints pictures. Years later, my daughter "loves" animals, which is why she liked the panda bear, and she "loves" colors too. That is one of the themes in her. YET, it's a genetic predisposition in her. The binding on that little book was "silver", and she likes white gold and silver.
The other day she talked about a new book she is reading, she loves to read, it relaxes her. She told about the book and then she said, "When I read I always remember you reading to me and how much I loved it". Now, it took her a long time to learn how to read, "she was a slow learner when it came to that", but she loves to read, even finds it relaxing and a great stress reducer. (my daughter is 33 now) What is the something she walked away with? My daughter actually has a high IQ, she just learns differently.
BUT, once she learns, it doesn't go away, she HAS IT.
Every relationship you have had, online or whatever, you always walk away with "something". It's important to make sure you focus on that and allow yourself to keep navigating and discovering and "learning".
