Quote:
Originally Posted by it'sgrowtime
I empathize with you, emptynightmare. Connecting with these strangers in a familiar type way must feel like a threat, or an invitation to more familiarity than you're ready for, or open to. Having boundaries is your right. You can have boundaries and at the same time to not be "on guard." The landlord and boss may be perfectly nice people who just would think it's rude not to offer. They must know/assume you won't have a car, etc.
maybe "do" what makes you feel safest, and "think" the best of others intentions, unless shown otherwise.
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Thanks. You're right - I am sometimes too nervous about these things. Maybe some perspective would be good. I'm trying to remember that anything goes if I act confident enough. I am the adult and they are the children. Similarly I'm trying to channel my lack of conversation into something that appears cool and poised. I guess I can come off as rude or perfunctory, but... I guess I'm not here to bend over to please people for approval. If I exhibit the average expected social manners and appear in control everything should be fine. They will follow me. At least I hope so...
I don't know what the problem is because I've never really needed approval. In fact, I hate working within the system. Maybe it's that I'm terrified of getting in trouble. So I become hyper vigilant of power hierarchies and authority figures become insurmountable.