I'm a tad bit in shock. I always just thought that little voice in my head was just my anxiety.

When I tried to kill myself I couldn't remember all of it. Neither the most recent or when I was a child.

I think I'm coming to terms with this. It's a little girl. She's always asking why did I go through all that? Why am I still alive if I've suffered so much. Why does she have to feel pain.

It's like a stranger to me. I'm strong. I get back up. I never look back. I adapt. I push through. I'm a survivor.

She doesn't want to do any of that. It's like I'm in a war with her for my very life.

What's next for me?