You script your own fate. If that necessitates that you draw it again from scratch, then do so. Time may be linear, but life itself is not. You have the span of your life to accomplish that destiny. It is for you to determine what exactly that "destiny" is and when to fulfill each respective portion of it. If you must wait, then wait. If you are ready, then pursue it.

Expectations can commonly extinguish one's pursuit to happiness. Perhaps it is best for you to sincerely reflect upon what it is which matters to you the most. If you spend your life pursuing a "happiness" defined by others, then you never seize the opportunity to define it for yourself. Upon the assimilation of one's self, they acquire the necessary independence and confidence to conquer their future. If your present life appears to you as fake, then perhaps you have been living by a standard conditioned by someone else. If that is the case, then it is fully within your ability to overcome such a burden. It is quite the struggle, but I have no doubt that you have the capability.

However, despite this, you may still be prone to depression, which can be largely biological. This is also a possible explanation in which medical examination and treatment are commonly recommended. Regardless of the reason, I wish you the best of luck.