I've broken up then gone back to my husband maybe 5 or 6 times - I can't even remember exactly how many times because it's all a blur now. I always come back because I feel bad for him or think things will be different because it's a new apartment or a new place. But nothing is different. I'm supposed to leave again tomorrow and go back to my mom's with my kid. But I'm really ashamed and embarrassed about doing it again. And because of that, a part of me just wants to take the abuse instead and stay. We've been married for 6 years. I know I have to leave but it's really really hard. I've been crying for hours now and can't sleep. It's a big step - for the 5th or 6th time.