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Originally Posted by emptynightmare
Thanks. You're right - I am sometimes too nervous about these things. Maybe some perspective would be good. I'm trying to remember that anything goes if I act confident enough. I am the adult and they are the children. Similarly I'm trying to channel my lack of conversation into something that appears cool and poised. I guess I can come off as rude or perfunctory, but... I guess I'm not here to bend over to please people for approval. If I exhibit the average expected social manners and appear in control everything should be fine. They will follow me. At least I hope so...
I don't know what the problem is because I've never really needed approval. In fact, I hate working within the system. Maybe it's that I'm terrified of getting in trouble. So I become hyper vigilant of power hierarchies and authority figures become insurmountable.
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I think acting confident, calm, and polite is a safe way to test the waters, and ease into your role. I would say it's expected to be nervous and excited about your new endeavors. hopefully your boss is kind and knowledgeable, and provides a positive work environment. For me, the power dynamic stuff gets me unbalanced. I like to be equals with everyone. I wasn't always good at conversation, or I was anxious, and I did come up with a lot of "tricks" to get by. I agree with you that playing with perception can be helpful to feel more powerful...like how you said you're the adult, they're the kids. Even better though, in my opinion, is to remember that you have strength and power in your own role. When you experience an issue or problem, you will solve it as soon as you can, as best as you can. If you make a mistake, admit it and fix it, and remember everyone makes mistakes, especially when they're learning something new. You should only get in trouble if you intentionally do something you shouldn't.