I have some good memories from growing up, but a lot of them are tainted by the feeling I used to get (and still do now) that something bad had to follow the good (and often did). I have lots of memories of walking back from the park, having had a nice time, and wishing I didn't have to go home where it was scary and dangerous. So a lot of my good memories weren't allowed to get too enjoyable, because the crash would be that much worse. Plus many memories that weren't abusive/violent faded with time, but the ones I had to bury to survive, refuse to be silenced now they're out in the open.