I have a history of self harm. Luckily I had almost stopped cutting or limited it to scratching, but lately I have been having urges to self harm again, so I tried the rubber band method.

It hurts like hell, so it "helps", however it does leave big bluemarks on my arms. I really feel like I am punishing myself with this method. Actually it hurts even more than cutting for some reason.

I was in the hospital this week due to suicidal behavior and I told them about it and they said rubber bands were OK. I even got one from the nurse


It feels bad that they accept and enable something that feels like pure self harm to me. In a way I am glad they let me, in another way I wish they stopped me

Don't know what to think about this.