I've always loved the holidays, but it seems that once I got older (I'm 32), the holidays became more of a let-down than anything else.
You always waited for that one Xmas that you'd get a great surprise gift....and it still hasn't happened!
I've also noticed that I don't even go anywhere because you see all the neat stuff in the stores that is only there at Xmas time & I can't afford to buy any of it. I actually had to RETURN gifts I'd bought this year because I'm not getting child support and I have $4 in my bank account.
While walking through the mall to return these things, I was SO mad/depressed, I was either going to tear someone's head off or break down crying. I felt so incredibly depressed and it just made me sick.
I have a 6 year old and I can't even take her to get her picture with Santa because I don't have any money.
She keeps wanting to go to the mall (which is right across the road from our house!) because she loves seeing all the holiday things, but I can't take her because I can't even buy a pretzel or soda and she just doesn't get that there is NO money!
Ugh, I've just come to really dread the holidays completely and winter too, with the freezing cold and stuck inside,etc. In warm weather, I spend the entire day outside, even if just sitting on the deck. So this cold stuff is really bothering me.
I WANT to feel 'in the mood' and bake or make things, but I just can't get there.
Anyone else feel this way??