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kebsfroggy said:
Wasn't it Forrest Gumps mom who said "stupid is as stupid does". Well I got straight A's in stupid class. It is all my fault. My decisions are what put me into this pit.

No one seems to understand that I'm no longer the "lean on me" "can handle everything" person I might once have been. I need pills to get up, pills to try to sleep, I even need pills to remember to take the pills. This is worth living for?

Even squid lips refuses to acknowledge I'm ill. He sat through an entire session with the T shaking his head in agreement. There were even a few "yes, I understands" thrown in for good measure. We walked out of the session and .... It doesn't change, it just doesn't change. My pdoc won't even call him any longer because he knows it is futile.

I'm so tired of trudging through this reality. I hate my life and I hate living. Why is it so hard for people to understand that the endless peace of death is desirable.

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i understand what you are saying about your decisions making the mess you are in i know that only so well it was my decision to go and purchasse our home to try to better our selves, it was my fault that we couldnt aford it and lost our home

sorry as you say squid lips doesnt get it i found a lot of ppl dont get mental health issues unless they have experinced them
we are all selfish we all want you around for us to talk to and see your humour i hope you find a way to hold on to your life for another year we know how hard that is but please try for all that love you here

ps we dont think you are stupid