So this is the note I sent him:

Hey *****,

I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. Unfortunately, this is an ongoing problem for me with the chronic depression and chronic fatigue that goes along with it. I'm working too many hours per week plus trying to have some life to myself that I just over-extend myself. I don't feel well enough to drive 3 hours round trip to St. Augustine tonight. And I feel so terrible about this.

My body just doesn't want to cooperate.

I am so proud of you because 4 years ago you said you were going to do this. You changed your life, quit working a great job at Sony, started over doing what you love, and started planning this trip for your 40th birthday. And you did it. You did everything you said you were going to do. It's like you decided you were just going to make your life exactly the life that you wanted to have. That is truly amazing and at the same time, the sign of a person with true courage in their soul. I admire that courage so much.

Even as I type this, I want to sit down and have a beer with you and ask you how you did it, weren't you afraid? Were there times you couldn't stay afloat?

But I'm just so overpowered by fatigue. My body gives out, my brain gives out...I'm like a borg drone, sleeping in my alcove to recharge until Sunday evening when I do all the laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, and whatever else in a quick 2 hour period to get ready for the upcoming work week. In fact, I'm going to have to use the grocery delivery service today because I just can't handle a store full of people...that's agoraphobia for you. That's why I go to the dog park at 10pm, so I won't be around other people...I know I'm not the person you knew, and she really wishes she could hop on her bike and ride out to meet you right now, but she's stuck in a really bad place. But she and I both want you to know we are there with you in spirit, and could not be more proud of you.

I'm really sorry and I'm so proud of you. It's an honor to be your friend.

Congratulations!!!