i ask him if he has any fantasies and if he wants a subscription to maxim or whatever guys magazine has hot chicks in it and he says no every time. i tell him its okay to have little crushes like his crush on ashley judd (odd choice i know lol). but he still feels like its not allowed. like i said its not the fact that he was watching it, it was that he was hiding it from me.

thats why i dont know what to do because i have asked him so many times if he wants stuff like that and he says no. so then i feel like he adamantly doesnt want any of it but then he does it... so im confused. my ex boyfriends had porn and playboys etc... and it didnt bother me because it was out in the open. they didnt hide it from me. so thats the worst part.

he has this feeling like im going to leave him if he slips up once. i dont know how many times i have told him, im not going to leave you for something like that! but he still thinks i will. i dont know. i want him to come on here and talk to some guys because i feel like he can be more open if hes anonymous and i understand why its hard for him to talk to me about that stuff.

i told him that im a little crazy and untrusting of men but over the past 2 years i have gotten a lot better and i think he is still stuck in 2 years ago. because i was very jealous and very insecure. so he hasnt moved past that point.