(Actually I'm not sure I'm posting this in the right section or not.... '-' I think I'm mistaken.. )

I am an introvert with anxiety. I don't hate to go outside. In fact, I do feel bored staying at home sometimes and want to watch movies or having a dinner with my family. Actually, the reason why I love to stay at home is because I have 0 confident about my appearance and I'm afraid when I go outside, somebody I know (high school friend especially) will see me looking ugly like this. It's very embarrassing. Plus, I get motion sickness all the time whenever travelling by car so it will drain 80% of my energy (took a lot of time to recover).

But my family ALWAYS...ALWAYS forcing me to go out when I'm not ready to go out. I already told them, please let me know their plan 1 day earlier before the date but they just don't listen to me! Never! Plus, they never include me in making any plan although we do have whatsapp group. They always interrupt me when I'm enjoying doing my own thing for example, sleeping. They just walk into my room, wake me up and say "Get ready. We're going shopping, NOW." I really really can't stand it when they 'surprise' me with their plan like that. I DO WANT to go out, I DO WANT to spend time with them but I need time. Time for preparing myself (preparation=panicking around and worrying about things) but if I say this to them, they will say mean things to me enough to make me cry because I hate myself so much. "I'm coming over here just want to bring my siblings having some fun but you say you're going to stay home? Like a trash? Fine!! If you want to be a trash, then go ahead." How am I suppose to make them understand? Have any of you guys who is introvert feeling like what I'm feeling (need time to prepare or else you won't go out)? Am I being selfish?