If you have a history of really coming down on him for this behavior, he probably feels like he shouldn't do it no matter what. That's how I'd feel if my wife were extremely upset by it. But I don't know him or the history so I can't say.

One thing is certain, he told you one thing and then acted in a different way. That's hurtful to you but it also speaks to some internal conflict on his part. He seems to want to do what pleases you (admirable) but something drew him to that porn. Sure, he didn't enjoy it but that could have more to do with the quality of the porn. Chances are, he wanted to enjoy it or why look at all?

I'm glad he's seeing a therapist about it because it sounds to me like he may have painted himself into an emotional corner. He wants to be a good person and please you but he also has male sexual needs that are hard to deny.

Personally I think this is a common problem and I know it effects me (so maybe I'm projecting a bit). How to be the man women want us to be while still meeting our own needs? Heck, I love women and don't want to hurt anybody. But I've certainly watched porn which according to your earlier post makes me a misogynist and I don't want to be that. My head has turned when I've seen a beautiful woman but I don't want to be hurting my wife by looking. So many guys I've talked to end up feeling very conflicted and confused (myself included). What's a guy to do?

I wish you and your boyfriend the best and I hope you get this worked out.

Cyran0