that would irritate me....it like you are doing superficial crap without addressing the REAL issue....what does she NEED to insure her that you REALLY are supportive of her having her own identity & supporting her successfully getting a career for the needs most women these days realize they need. She should ask you for the proof that she needs that you will be the kind of husband she wants but some women who have not learned to ask for what they need hold onto expectations that if you truly LOVE them you will do it without their asking. Many feel that if they need to ask then its truly NOT coming from the other person & they are only doing it because they asked.

You BOTH have SERIOUS communication issues & you both are dysfunctional when it comes to making a relationship work. It sounds like all you are concerned with your love language & she is withholding it from you....but how about her needs? They aren't about flowers or cards....many women need to have a feel of accomplishment & success just as much as men do & she has been telling you that with her behavior.

I got so angry in my marriage I moved into my own wing of the house the last 13 years I was trapped living there. My issues weren't the same as your by that time in my marriage but they sure were in the beginning & because H was the way he was my anger grew in the marriage & not love. His personality & bull headedness irritated me & my fighting back was to hide out in my career after getting my degree.

It honestly sounds like your personalities are no more functional than the ones in my marriage were. You have your idea of what you expect out of her & I do truly wonder how REALLY supportive of her having independence & not chattering her whole life to you & the kids you really are. Without knowing what is really going on there, I am obviously projecting onto this how I would be feeling in the same position & my anger would be growing along with the belief that you truly don't care or want to support my independence especially since NONE of your conversations even seem to bothering to ask her how you can fulfill those needs for independence (talking about career independence only here) so she can have an identity beside wife & mother. Something most women these days desperately need as bad as men do. Not sure you even grasp that concept honestly.



she might have...Or she might be saying it to hurt you because she might be feeling hurt because you just aren't getting what she is expecting from you to make her feel like if she got together with you that it wouldn't just go back to being the way it was. This frustration only makes anger grow....is very unhealthy & only causes more growing apart...& maybe she is giving up hope on you & the marriage for it ever being what she needs from it.



like someone who is hurt & angry at you for not getting what her REAL need for support is & providing it....& is trying to hurt you as much as she is feeling hurt.

maybe she keeps hoping that sooner or later you will get it & show her that you REALLY DO. Dang, I did a whole 2100 mile trip across the country in my truck with my H in hopes he would finally GET IT before I realized it was NEVER going to happen & finally ended the marriage even though still a separation due to financial issues until I get the money to finalize what I started.

you are the only one who can determine that. If your unconditional love means you want your marriage back the way you had it before your wife realized she needed her identity to not just be wife & mother.....they you are right....go for it & it will just prove to her that she was right about you not being willing to provide her with she support she has been wishing you were willing to provide.

In reality it will just prove that NEITHER OF YOU are mature enough to really work through differences & come to a working solution. Got news for you, if you ever do want to get married again, you better sort through this within yourself if you ever want a successful marriage with a modern day woman because there are very few if any who will ever be satisfied with a life like that. Fidelity in marriage is critical....so is each person keeping their own identity while working in a PARTNERSHIP. Most women these days don't find their identity in being just a wife & mother.

she has a right to be compensated for the time she was working as wife & mother which translated usually into money for education & assets depending on the state are either divided equitably which could give her more with child support or the state is 50/50 & add to that the cost for lawyer & court costs for at least the judge to finalize it. Costs are more when there are agreement problems....divorce usually leave both feeling like being taken to the bank....just the price paid in divorce.

Sorry I don't believe there is sociopathic behavior coming from her. I see a frustrated person whose frustration has grown into anger for not getting what she is wanting out of the marriage. I see her anger as coming out in ways of getting even for your hurting her then not really getting her need for independence supported. Anger grows the longer the frustration continues & anger grows into rage....don't see her at that point yet. I know I got to that point before I could finally leave. I was actually seeing red every time I had anything to do with my H...not where your wife is at yet & no point in ever letting itngetntonthat point either.....but I know many women who turn to fight & hurt mode when they feel hurt by their marriage partner. There are usually 2 types of women....those that go silent & say nothing & finally just leave or those of us who fight when we feel wronged....your wife sounds like that is the type of person she may be. Not willing to accept feeling hurt without returning the hurt to the person that they feel is hurting them. There are many of us women who are not willing to take being hurt quietly or even diplomatically. Many end up striking back almost like self defence because it feels exactly what we are having to do.