I've been trying to figure out if my zoning out/spacing out/lethargy is from dissociation or me being weird. Don't know if it's good or bad if it's either.
I generally can't stay focused on conversations very long, especially if I'm stressed. When my depression wasn't being treated, along with my anxiety, I zoned out a lot during classes and talking to friends, and hardly kept it from being noticeable. A few times one of my friends who had classes with me had to come over and ask if I was okay because I'd been staring at a table for 5+ minutes. Other issues from zoning out too but it's more noticeble with social situations.
It happens most with therapy though. With my previous therapist, I only remember one time she fussed at me at the beginning of a session. It was because I didn't remember going to therapy the previous week at all and we had apparently done some mindfulness thing where I laid on the floor with breathing or something. Never could remember it. She was obsessed with getting me to learn mindfulness stuff. My depression got worse and I was almost always zoning out. Joked about being half asleep some. Rough few months.
With my current therapist, for a while I knew generally what we did but when we started talking about trauma I was having breakdowns and not really remembering the sessions. Had another breakdown at home and refused to go to a session because of stress from it. We've not gone over much at once since then and I haven't had issues going either. Also able to remember what we did somewhat.
I know the blocking out with therapy happens when I get really tired suddenly and I'm just responding with "okay", "yeah", "not really". I think she notices it but she's never said anything. Kind of scared to ask her about it because it probably means talking about trauma and figuring out how I respond to it and yeah I'm not okay with it. It was only a few months ago I got to switch over to just talking about depression and anxiety instead of trauma stuff.
I just know for sure it makes me sleepy but I don't fall asleep from it. Is this considered dissociation or is it supposed to be called something else?