Yea, I would soul search and figure out why I started the affair in the first place.

Then if thru that discussion with myself I decided I really didn't love my partner and that is why...than it would only be fair to that person to let them go and even thou you may have insecurities about being alone it doesn't mean we can drag other people thru the mud. We have to learn how to stand up to ourselves and be a better human being.

So after the discussion with myself..If I decided I shouldn't be with my partner...than I wouldn't go throwing in her face that I had an affair..I would take the proper steps no matter how hard they would be to seperate from the marrige.

However, if the conversation with myself...went like...I shouldn't have done that and I really DO love my wife...than I would put a lot of effort into making the relationship better with your wife.

This other girl...all you have to do is ignore her texts....and phone calls..you are allowing drama to continue with her.

Is she threatening to tell your wife?