I'm so p***ed right now. I saw my psychiatrist a month ago and then and now I've been struggling with high anxiety and all my OCD %#@&#!. He said that he thought it'd be a good idea for him to call my therapist just to touch base about me and my treatment. I see my therapist once every two weeks if not once a week. It's been a month and they haven't talked yet. "Phone tag" my therapist said. I know that I'm not a priority in either of their lives--they both have families and lots of other clients besides me. But it seems to me that in four weeks, between the two of them they could have called each other by now. I feel like they don't care. They don't. They don't understand anyway. They don't know what it's like to get through my days, acting all normal on the outside.

So I left a phone message for my therapist just now. I had seen him earlier today and at the end asked if he had talked to my psychiatrist. He said no, not yet--acting all cheerful and stuff. So I left a phone message basically saying all the above and cancelling my next week's appointment and I also told him I don't feel like seeing him at all for now.

I'm not going to do anything rash or stupid. I'm just really mad and hurt. I don't want to talk to either of them. They don't understand all my inner turmoil. No one does. I hate feeling like this. I'm supposed to trust them. I've always relied on my therapist. He keeps saying "Progress, not perfection." I can't hurt myself because I have five concerts in the next week and a half and lots of people are counting on me. That'd be stupid anyway.

ugh. . . .!#$%&*