Actually, eskielover has some good points. And while it may be difficult to digest, it's actually worth considering and taking a step back to do so.

I got to wondering if when your wife caught you interacting with this other woman on the net if she got to read some of it. You were giving that other woman something your wife wanted from you, "not flowers, not the "just sex", but something you had not been giving your wife. And then what did you do to "FIX" the problem? A card, a I am sorry, and flowers and then everything should be ok and we can do the physical that you know, the SEX.

I ask you to share what conversation "did" take place so I can at least hear her input and think about what she is focusing on. When the conversation turned to this other guy, what did she say? She talked about how he came over and made dinner for them and she was alluding to his participation and my guess is he probably ALSO engaged her and genuinely showed interest in "her". Interesting how she said, "Did I F him? that's just SEX". Yet, she may not have even engaged in that with this man too. It's the way she talked about it like "the sex is just something physical, not important, this guy did something better FOR me".

I have, over the years heard different women talk about how, "he just brings me flowers and a card like a payment that means it's ok to do the sex now", and he doesn't EVER get it that I want more than just some flowers you can go out and buy.

Some men think that if they did not actually have sex with another woman, it's not that bad. But actually, that may not be the true offense at all. If anything it can be how the man gets caught giving another woman the very thing he fails to provide for his wife, "attention in the way he starves his wife of providing her" and often the flowers and the card handed to her can add to the anger and resentment.

What's behind living in separate rooms, or separate wings, or separate apartments. How a woman can whisper, "if only he would just throw me a bone". Hint, it's not flowers and a card signed "love Dad or Joe or whomever".

When you visit her, she distances and sits on the other couch even. You said, "I don't know the language, I am just a physical", YES, that's a big part of the problem. YET, what did you do with this other woman she caught you texting with? No sex there right?
Oh, that would have been cheating too much right? YET, your wife just gave you a huge clue, "Yes I F'd him but that's just SEX". "Is that all you want to know or care about"?

I am not trying to hurt you Dad, I think you genuinely don't know what is really being said or pointed out to you. A lot of men don't get this, so you are not alone with this challenge.

Yet, I don't want to say that your wife isn't to blame either because she fails too in the communication department.

That's what I was also talking about in describing how my mother was actually jealous of the little West Highland Terrier they had where my father would pick it up, rub it and cuddle it and love it and talk to it in a way he failed to do with my mother. That's not SEX either.