Hi again
It is really comforting to hear back so soon so thank you so much for sharing.
It's good to hear from a parent's perspective.
I have never really had proper therapy...I was considering going on a waiting list but for free I think you get 6 sessions of CBT and I think you have to wait several months... otherwise privately it's really expensive (I'm in the UK) and i'm not working. I wonder if there are good books out there or things I can do that would replace having therapy? Does anybody have any thoughts on this? I feel my father has brought me up in a way where i am completely dependent...I am so furious...but I know i'm too old now to blame him. It's so difficult, I feel useless that I can't just suck it up and be a pleasant person.

Sorry if this is a bit scattered. Misssy2 I can't imagine how hurtful it is to have somebody you unconditionally love be so angry towards you. Deep down i love my father, but I am just so angry because, the place is constantly a dirty mess and it doesn't matter if I clean up it'll just revert back to crap everywhere, food dropped around the flat, piles of stuff everywhere...everything feels so dysfunctional, antisocial...over dramatic...plays the victim a lot. I know the bigger better person, would rise above it, be kind, understanding. I'm just so angry. I feel like I was neglected, or can you really be born useless? Anyway I suppose in a nutshell, I am blaming my parent for my problems which I feel they caused, and I constantly swing back and forth on whether that is fair or not. I've lost nearly all the friends I had because of my overly dramatic reactions to things which I must have learned from my father...I am literally becoming him. I hope this was somewhat helpful/insightful.