Your wife is treating you like she doesn't love you and doesn't plan on spending her future with you. The question is: why would she do that? Maybe it's because she doesn't love you and doesn't plan on spending her future with you.

She's got her own apartment, and she sees who she wants when she wants. So - right now - how would serving you with divorce papers get her anything she doesn't already have? She can get around to the paperwork whenever. There's no rush, from her point of view. I know a couple who split up and didn't get around to actually divorcing for years. Five years after they stopped living with each other they had new partners and still hadn't gone to court. (They had no children and no common assets of any size.) Each was seeming to wait for the other to start the formal process. It didn't seem to really matter. Each was off doing their own thing. You contribute to the support of your wife and children. If she's satisfied with what she's getting, she sees no need to change anything. Plus, as has been pointed out to you above, leaving things as they are has advantages for her. You hang around and you can come in handy when she needs you. She may even get a kick out of you not feeling you can start dating other women.

You're not really listening to the possible explanations that have been laid out. You just keep asking the same questions. Leaving you hanging not knowing what the future may hold might be a simple case of her being a byeetch. That's pretty much what she sounds like to me.

Are you willing to even consider the possibility that in taking her for a wife, you may just have made a huge mistake? That is hard to face when two kids came out of this union. So keep not facing it, if that's what you prefer to do.

Give some thought to what happened in her last marriage . . . to the extent that you may know, if you know. Was the last guy another lousy husband who wounded her poor little heart and wouldn't let her be her own person and stifled her independence? She doesn't strike me as a woman who's easy to push around. She sounds very assertive to me. She's got you dancing on a string. She may figure, "Why not just keep you doing that?" She may be just waiting to see when you'll finally blow up. Maybe it gratifies her ego to have you hanging around wanting her, especially if her other relationship fell apart.