Dear Xxxx
Thank you for being my psychiatrist for the last three years. Just saying "thank you" doesn't seem enough, and you don't seem the type to accept gifts or cards.
I don't know if I can articulate what I want to say without dissolving into tears, hence this note.
When I first came here, I was a pretty big mess. These days, not so much of a mess. Thanks to you, I've been able to unpack some stuff that's been affecting me for a long time.
When I said "I just want to get better" and you said, "we'll get you better", that's the day I gave you a chance.
Thank you for changing my medication and being knowledgable about the side effects.
Thank you for annoying me, challenging me, pushing my buttons and your constant prodding. I've had to face stuff I didn't want to face, and admit fears I didn't want to acknowledge. I'm so glad I never lost my temper, and stayed in my chair. There have been times when I've walked out thinking "what would he know? Who does he think he is?". Other times I've walked out feeling utterly broken. I've learned it doesn't matter if you haven't experienced what I have, your job was to help me figure myself out and help me work out effective strategies.
Once you told me to find the angry, frightened little girl in me. I don't remember what I was supposed to do when I found her, but I don't have to look far. She's in the face of every child I work with. So you're right, my work with kids is quite healing. It's hard going some weeks, but the end rewards are great when I see them grow up into confident young adults ready to take on the world.
I am really going to miss you. I realise the who you are in the office may not be the xxx anyone else knows, but I appreciate the person who kept my secrets and let me create a safe place to dump my crap and sort through it. I can't say you were always kind and non-judgemental, but I can say you were consistent, willing to ask questions and look for solutions. You were like a rock, pretty much the same, while everything inside and around me was changing.
I can't hang onto that rock forever. I have to be my own rock and it's okay if I change over time. Hopefully I've learnt the tools to get myself through any tough times to come, such as when my dad dies, or heaven forbid, something bad happens to the kids or me.
Thank you for calling the ambulance. I was pretty mad that day, then devastated, but it set off a chain of events which got me the support to get out of my marriage and to get through the horrific aftermath.
I finally feel like I have the power to write my own story, and to change it. And to ask for help along the way. I see now I was scared to be a single parent again, but it's easier this time around. I'm broke and always tired, but a lot happier.
I finally feel like I'm only dropping one or two balls each day, but that's hell of a lot better than losing them all and constantly trying to pick up all the pieces.
Thank you for putting up with me and getting me to this point.
I'm looking forward to having a break from therapy and from my own head, it'll be nice to have my mind to myself for a while.
You leaving is like you're dead. I've kept in touch with most people I've worked with or have crossed paths with, but I don't think you do that with your patients.
I think you're a great therapist, and it will be a big loss for the field. I wish you all the best in your future, and I hope you'll say hi if we ever cross paths again.