It sounds like you're uncomfortable with being upset and angry. You have the right to feel your feelings, "bad" or not. I get that way sometimes when I'm depressed. I hide in my bedroom getting angry with everybody, then get angry with myself (which lead to sui thoughts). I'm on medication now that reduces those thoughts. So, for example, today when I lost my anniversary band I could be all kinds of pissed off at myself, but surprisingly I'm still calm. If you get another T you can explore this.