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But I am starting to resent the fact that I have this responsibility. How awful to feel this way. For goodness sakes he is my DAD. My only parent .I've been doing this for 13 years now. and its getting to me so much.

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Actually, I can see that you would feel this way, that you feel he is somewhat of a burden to you. I know you love him, but doing the same thing nearly every day for the past 13 years does kind of get repetitive, and I believe you said once that you also think he makes things more difficult by not doing things such as washing up, which he can do, so that you have to do them for him. It can quickly add to the stress. Also, I get the impression that your day revolves around having to take him the supper at night. You have to plan what you will make, and then make it, and then take it. It takes up a lot of your time. I think you do need more time to yourself. I think it is natural that you would resent him somewhat. After all this is a continuous task you have to do that you can't escape from, and you never asked to do it. I think you must also feel guilty about feeling this way... which must add to the stress.

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My marraige is not good either. We are having problems. I have boundary issuee yet.Ones of going outside my marriage for affection .

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Maybe you are not getting the right kind of attention and affection in your marriage that you need. This is kind of hard to explain... but maybe somehow your husband doesn't show his affection in the way you need to see it being expressed. For example (and I'm just making things up here), if say he tells you all the time that he loves you, then maybe you can just tell yourself that those are empty words. Perhaps you need to see demonstrations that he loves you, such as hugging you maybe, taking you out for meal once a week, buying you gifts, that type of thing maybe.

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I am scared to call my T . I dont know why. Maybe its because of admitting early failure to my so called"graduating from therapy".

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Yes. I suppose you also feel like you will have let your t down if you have to call him again. I was feeling a similar way about having to contact my doctor if I feel like my depression is worse while I am at home: my counsellor says that drs often have people do things like me and they think it is good that you are able to admit you feel worse and go back. So maybe you should try thinking that your t will be able to accept that you dont feel quite righ and again a dnthat he wont judge you for it but will try to help you. In fact if you went back it could benefit you more perhaps, since leaving your t for a while may have let you see things about your life you weren't aware of previously. I don't know. Hope this helped somewhat.