Apo, I called this right back at the beginning of this,thread.

I know this situation inside out and back to front, I have been through it more times than I care to mention.
Your absolutely right.

Dad luv. Even the ever patient members of this forum are starting to understand the root of your wife's frustrations.

You absolutely refuse to hear. Your read the words but you will not absorb them.
Right from the get go I told you the likely progression of this situation, and so it has been.
Many have offered you very differing perspectives, I can not agree with open and her insistence that you placate this woman, she got her nose bent out of shape over a few texts.
At any point she could have walked but she has deliberately stayed involved to punish him.
Rose, I agree with much of what you have said, although your usual unbiased well thought through conclusions have become increasingly hard line and somewhat approachable. Your invested in Dads situation and that is admirable but perhaps a step back and a deep breath.I don't believe she is sociopathic, possibly borderline, definitely spiteful and from what I remember of her external family pressures, religious factors etc, it seems she hasn't had much opportunity to be herself.
Honestly I don't think she likes the fact Dad reminds her of what she used to be.

Dad, if your able to be content with her the way she is now, and she allows you in the house, your gonna have make do.
If you really don't believe your worth more than that, I don't see what more can be done to change your mind.

I spoke to you once about the expectations of a military wife. And how it's bloody hard, but as the one left at home you have to do the running.
How many care packages did she send?
How many letters?
Photos and paintings from the kids?
Naughty pics just for you?
I haven't heard you mention any of the wonderful things that made her an incredible wife.
The fact she tolerated you being away didn't mAke her a fabulous wife. It made her pretty average.

I dunno man, just wish you would see the light, tell me all about her and the incredible person she was, I want to hear all the things that are keeping this vice like grip on your heart.
Maybe then I will see more clearly where this absolute single mindedness has come from.
Describe to me the happiest time you both shared, that made you realise she was the only woman in this entire world for you.
What was the fantastical love story that got you guys together.
Help me see what your seeing. Help me understand what it is your trying to save.