Ok I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia since 2011 but to be honest it was bad and I was in denial and never on any medication all these years because I have alot of spirtual beliefs about this disorder,that it's shamanic etc.Ive been in hospital about 14 times,I don't know.I usually stay for months.

Anyway things got really bad in Febuary my sleep stopped,the number one thing that triggers psychosis for me.I had been in hospital in Sept, and when I came out and went off the drug I became constipated this happened to me a year before too,the drug does something.Anyway I was still going about half everyday(toilet).Despite this I was desperate, felt I was losing it and needed sleep so went on risperdone and immediately only started going a quarter a day,or every few days.

I reduced my eating greatly to one tiny meal a day as I was so worried.I could see no way of getting off the med.I didn't want to take lax. as I felt that it would make the problem worse and mess things up.
Now at five months and desperate,I took a lax two days ago, it helped a little but not much difference to how I usually go and now I don't think I'm going at all,just like I knew the lax would do to me.

I want to come off the med desperately so my body will work again, but I know if I do I will end up in hospital or having psychosis I can already feel the severe stress from all this is causing me near psychosis.Should I go to the hospital and explain everything.I have no support and feel completely stuck.Im eating nothing.