DadFMF,

Just caught up with the twists & turns that you have had to endure!

Be careful. Whatever the reasons for your wife's behaviour - "genuine" or not, or she can't 'help herself', or is confused, she's hurt ... whatever ''valid reasons" - she is consistently in flux. The two of you swing on that pendulum, with her setting it off by whatever she chooses to do, say or react to you, on that day. And if she was hurt, acting this way to solve the problem does not validate, especially indefinitely. You did try, so how long?

When someone WANTS something, it's really clear. No guesswork. No 'flux'. The weather changes less than she does ...

Illness is the exception of course & in that case, you did suggest marriage counselling. However, even that, she was not open to. Not even to TRY!

When someone is devoted to a healthy marriage (with children 2!!!), there are no requests for "friends" or "separate rooms". They may even meet you half way. She clearly wants her cake and to eat it too.

She must need you - how can she go out with these friends? She is not childless. How can she live the way she really wants to, go out with her friends with kids?

Every now and then she's on board - then off. I can't say definitely why she is acting this way of course, but she's not ready.

The crime and punishment are not making sense. It is possible that sooner or later you may have had issues with her. The text simply made it sooner than later.

Get the support you need so that you won't be confused by these conflicting messages from her. You can get worn down and who will be there for the kids? And you? what about YOU Dad? Your well being & peace of mind.

Watch her - regardless of the reasons for her behaviour, her actions are NOT really working for the you or the family/marriage.

I had hoped that things were better for you by now, but you need to take care of you. Get some support to help with the rough patches!

Until next time, take care