Good morning,
My T and I came to a compromise.
She wanted me to change my medicine, as she felt wellbutrin/Viibryd was not working to help with the depression.
2nd) I would see her everyday through the 15th, then we would reevaluate the situation.
3rd) if at any time she determined, during the time, she cmcan decide I need to go to the hospital, and 90 percent of me have agreed, that we will voluntarily admit if she determines I need to go. She has been very honest that she is only doing this, because of my intense fear of being put in the hospital, that the hospital would be very triggering for
However she has made it clear to the other 10 percent that she will admit me involuntarily, if she feels I need to go.
I have also agreed to check in every morning and before I go to bed. My husband has not been very supportive of all of this, however, I guess some part of me bffad a serious discussion with him, and he keeps a close eye on me when I am home. This can be very annoying

This has been a tough agreement as I live an hour and half from her office, which means a 3 hour round trip for me everyday
Normally only see her 2 times a week, so this has been a big change. I am currently out on FMLA /STD.
She has to sign paperwork allowing me to go to work. She will not sign them.
The drive getting to her office is the most difficult, as parts of me our not happy about this agreement and I often find myself driving the wrong way and have to turn around, or my phone and keys and lots of time my glasses are hidden from me.
.
I have never had this intense of therapy before. Before I am to leave after each visit, she has to be confident that I will see her the next day, and get a commitment that "all" of me will not attempt anything, and if needed, I am to call her. Which I never do, even though she states I can. There has only been twice in the past 2 1/2 years I have called her and both times were neccessary.

She is semi retired, this allows the flexibility with her schedule.
She has been beyond patient with me. I feel so guilty that I am causing her to be away from her family, when it would have been easier on her, just to lock me up and throw away the key.

This kind of caring, compassion and patience with me, is something I have never felt. It has certain parts of me very suspicious.
She has shown an immense trust in me, by allowing me to go home everyday., I do not want to break that trust. There was a significant break through with a part of myself who had made the plan, I am feeling in a much better place. I also think the switch in medication is helping me feel so much less depressed.