You are totally allowed to have rules and boundaries. It can get so confusing, though, to tell the difference between standing up for your boundaries appropriately and having boundaries that are too rigid. I bet it makes it more confusing to deal with a physical intrusion when you've been working on not resisting letting T in emotionally.

I'm sorry that he is violating your boundaries. It's scary to me because I know that I'm vulnerable too. If a T or someone I looked up to touched me and they seemed to think there was nothing wrong with it (which obviously, if they are doing it they seem to think there's nothing wrong with it, from my perspective as looking up to them), it would be really hard to tell them no, there is something wrong. That was what happened to me as a child when I was molested, and was a pattern later on in dating too. I couldn't set boundaries because I'm always wrong and whoever else is always right. I'm just lucky that nobody pushed that stuff farther than they did, because I was incredibly vulnerable.

I sure hope that this T doesn't push it any farther, and that you learn that you can set boundaries before he tries. I don't know that he would. Maybe it's innocent. But maybe it's not. Are you afraid of losing him if you tell him you don't like him touching you? (I would be - that fear is way too familiar).

But when you cancel and don't see him at all, then you are setting a boundary that keeps you safe but is too rigid. Maybe terminating with him is the right thing to do. That is for you to decide. But I think you need to either terminate, or talk about the issue, not keep pushing away while telling him you will see him again. You might talk to your other T about it before you decide. I would be very interested in what she says.

Stay safe.