Good for you (((DadFMF)) you deserved to vent all that. I agree that her having people over and drinking while the children are in the home is wrong. I never did that myself, if I wanted to have a party with drinking I made arrangements for my daughter to be with my in laws. But, I did notice other parents did not do that and often drank and got drunk while their children were home (they were in their early 30's too). I also agree with you that her having a married man over and drinking with him was wrong too. I always agreed with you on that one.

It sounds to me as if you wife is living what most experience while in college, not at her age. Perhaps that is what she missed and has chosen to engage in recently.