Hi Lex. Brave question, but all of us must struggle with it in one way or another since intimacy like all our experssions are so easily compromised by one disorder or another.

Sounds like you have a partner who must be aware of how things are for you, and that's a good starting place. You are going to have to be patient with yourself as it just isn't likely to go the same way each time. When I'm in the dysfunction zone, I try to really focus on the "giving" side of the equation. Sometimes, a few minutes of that can restore my absent libido, and things pick right up.

The other thing I'm thinking is that you could bring a certain degree of ritual to the lovemaking. I saw in your bio that you are wiccan oriented. Well, you know then how doing a ceremony or ritual the same way each time brings you to a (pick a term here) vibrational awareness, focus, clarity, even if you have other distractions in the background, that sameness of ceremony eventually serves to train your inner spaces to attune to your intent. Lighting candles and incense for example, enhance mood for one thing, but if done with intent can help bring you to the present.

I hope you can hear that i'm only sincerely trying to respond to your courageous question. I would feel terrible to cause offense at such a moment.

Keep trying.