Hello. I'm really confused and hurt. My boyfriend was diagnosed with Bipolar, but one psychatrist thinks he has schizoaffective disorder. Anyways, our relationship has always been toxic. Anytime we would argue, he would dump me, then beg me back. It was a continuous cycle. He also was an alcoholic. So, I told him he needs to get help, be clean, and get on psych meds for his bipolar. He agreed to do it, because he didn't want to lose me. He was prince charming in the beginning of our relationship, and treated me like a queen. Then he cheated and had manic episodes, and ruined the relationship. I tried breaking up with him but he said he loved me, and I was his soulmate, and he needs me. Ever since he got sober and was on meds he got worse. He became distant and depressed. He treated me like a friend more than a girlfriend. I told him to tell me straight up how he feels about me, I even asked him if he wanted to be friends, and he said "no, I want you as a girlfriend."

Well I catered to him. I made sure I got him in with doctors, and took care of him emotionally even him emotionally abusing me. I loved him so much and went above and beyond to make sure he was financially and emotionally supported. He damaged the relationship with his lies, cheating, mental abuse, insults, and I told him he needs to rebuild it. He begged for me back when I told him it probably isn't repairable. He insisted it was because I'm his one and only. He said he loves and needs me. Well, I got into an argument one day with him because I didn't like how he said he doesn't see himself marrying me. I claimed him as my husband and yet he did the emotional damage in the relationship, yet he's unsure of me? So he broke it off with me. Now he really took a turn. He said he doesn't have feelings for me anymore, he's not sexually attracted to me, he feels a weight has been lifted off of him, he never thought I was attractive, etc. We didn't have sex for a month, but he blamed it on his meds. I thought he didn't mean those words at first but he's serious in wanting his clothes and personal belongings so I could be "in the past". He goes back and forth. He says he loves me and wishes me well, and he wants me to find someone else. He said he lost feelings for me. But then he says to my mother that he hopes that I make better judgment on picking a guy. He basically insulted himself. Then my mom said "you are throwing a lot away. Olivia put you first and tried to help you." He said "there's no loss because it is a mutual giving up. We both lost feelings." I am making it like I have no feelings because I don't want to look desperate but really I'm broken to the core. He keeps saying he cares about me and he can't give me what he wants that's why he's letting me go. Yet, I treated him like a king. I don't know why he would want to let me go? I did everything for him and fell so in love with him. He is being very callous and ok with this while I want to die that he hurt me so badly. He doesn't seem to care. I keep asking him if it's another girl and he keeps denying that. He said he just lost feelings. I don't understand because just a couple of weeks ago he blew up my phone and begged for me back. Now he has no feelings? I'm so confused and hurt. I don't know if his bipolar is getting worse? Or if it's even the bipolar?

Because before he would regret his decision and text me incessantly begging me to take him back, but this time he's happy about it and is very callous, and is not texting me. He seems very different and kinda psychotic about it. He was on Lamictal and Seroquel. But he stopped taking his meds. He just wants to rid me it seems, but I did absolutely nothing to him and was by his side through thick and thin. I can't believe he wants to rid me and has no feelings for me? When everyone deserted him, I was there for him and helped him. He said so many cruel things but then turns around and says to my mom "I will always love your daughter but we just don't work. I wish her the best." But then he says "the love is gone" in the next text he sent her. He texts me calling me a "ho" because I went out on a date with a guy friend of mine. Saying cruel things like "I'm sloppy seconds", and "an ogre looking hore." "I'm ugly" he insulted my looks so badly and said he was never sexually attracted to me, only when he was drunk and I caked on makeup is the only time I was attractive is what he said. It's all confusing and it's hurting me so badly. What is your opinion? And do bipolar people do this? Why is he being so above and beyond cruel? Why is he so hell bent on not being with me? Is this normal behavior for bipolar disorder?