I'm having trouble making and keeping friends. I know being alone isn't the end of the world, but I really want to connect with people. It's not natural to me, as I'm very antisocial and usually don't feel very much empathy for others. But I don't want to be that way. I am an emotional person, I just have deep trust issues with letting people close enough to see that. It's easier to push them away than it is to risk showing them everything and being rejected... A lot of the time I assume they wouldn't want to talk to someone like me anyway because I'm never good enough for anyone to stick around long enough to see a more real side of myself... I deal with the lack of meaningful friendship and social interaction by fantasizing and making art/music/writing. My novel that I'm writing is my biggest escape for sure. I guess I'm just tired of living through other means; I want to feel alive for real, like I'm having a human experience instead of this dissociated alien one...