I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom and the connection to the family. Family was not there for me either and I can relate but perhaps there is a friend or consider a counselor to reach out to. You don't have to shoulder this alone. I know sometimes I could only take things one moment at a time. The feelings felt so overwhelming but with deep breaths and letting them pass, became less daunting over time. Be sure to take extra special care of yourself right now and in the days ahead. My heart aches with you for your loss.