Ok... nice... so it is no wonder I don't have closer friends. I am left absolutely alone with no guidance and expected to swim with the current. I cannot relax or let people very close and nobody cares about me or how I'm doing. Family never calls... doesn't care how I am. I worry I will be alone all my life when I don't have to be. But that's how it is. There is no one to soothe me if something goes wrong, or comfort if I haven't paid my bills. Maybe people think I am stand-offish or not too open and they're right, because I can't... I cannot do this anymore, nothing works anymore. I am so ashamed sometimes I can't open my mouth and ***** of a "mother" just pushes harder. Plus being abandoned frequently, left with nothing to do. She doesn't even ask if I have a job at all. It's all left on me. So I have difficulty being close to people.
Well forget about it. I guess I will be alone but I can say that I won't ever call her.
What do you think about this?
And yet I can't live in this way...