I'm so sorry you're experiencing such pain right now. You did a good thing by reaching out for support. I'm facing the physical and mental decline of my mother-in-law, who has been like a mom to me. I'm dreading the day she passes away, although I know it is probably going to happen sometime in the next few months to a year. (My husband may also have cancer.) I'm terrified of losing the two people I am closest to in the world. I know I will need support for myself when it happens. So I would like to offer you my support and listening ear while you are going through it. Please keep posting here at PC and let us know how you are doing. You don't need to go through it all alone.