I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Can you have pets where you live? I consider my cat and dog as part of the family. They help me a lot emotionally. I'm sorry about your relationship with your mom. She sounds toxic to you. If that is the case maybe it would be wise to limit exposure. I think I mentioned in a previous post that you could sit down with your mother and talk with her in a non confronting way about what you need from her and what she needs from you. Were you willing or able to do that? Is there anyone at your work that you're interested in being friends with? Best wishes.