Buck , i think that you are being way to hard on yourself. There is no need to forgive yourself, or feel guilty. Looking at pictures or a video is not cheating. If you went to a strip club and had someone dancing on your lap, then that is another story. If your girlfriend is that rigid and puts you through the grinder for finding some porn in your computer history, then i would think long and hard before thinking about a long term committment. If it is because of something that happened to her in her past, then i would be more understanding, if its because she is the jealous type or is forbidding things for you because of religious or her sense of morality than i would give her a nice kiss goodbye. Jealousy is corrosive to a relationship and if she is going into a relationship thinking that she is going to control you or change you , then you have a very rocky road ahead. We are men not children.